Gentlemen, this is Dale: Below is a short synopsis of the golf 5 of us played in Kauai last week; we played 4 of 6 days. There are a few holes on the prizes on Wednesday that I never got answers to and that’s my fault but it is what it is. This is mostly complete.
Aloha,
A five-member contingent of the Lake Chabot Golf Club (me, Rob, Marty, Dale, Lary) flew to Kauai in late September, 2019 to play the scenic Makai course in Princeville, together with a lesser known but fine layout called Puakea. In the six full days on the island we played four times, three at Makai, once at Puakea. Our second day at Makai we played 27 holes and agreed for cumulative low net purposes that we would use our two best scoring nines for our 18 hole score that day.
The off days were spent hiking, beaching and pooling in various combinations. We cooked dinner once and otherwise ate out or ordered in. We played Oh Hell! almost every day. It is a portable game. Copious—I mean copious—amounts of liquor were consumed. Party favors abounded among a subset of the contingent. Snacks were terrific.
We decided we would each kick in $60 for a total prize pool of $300 and split the money as follows:
Longest putt each day: $20 (total of $80)
Longest drive each day: $20 (total of $80)
Closest to any par 3 pin each day: $20 (total of $80)
Lowest net score (gross score minus handicap for all four days combined): ($60)
Here are the scores and the prize winners day by day; I have added a few personal observations at the end; feel free to add your own; I apologize in advance for what are sure to be errors in the score reporting:
Makai 1
| Rob 107 | Lary 101 | Tim 103 | Dale 103 | Marty 115 | Prizes LD: Lary 192, CTP: Dale 12’8″, LP Marty 58′ |
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Pukea
| Rob 118 | Lary 105 | Tim 106 | Dale 98 | Marty 113 | Prizes LD: Tim 175, CTP: Marty 31’8″, LP Marty 31’8″ |
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Makai 2
| Rob 110 | Lary 99 | Tim 108 | Dale 104 | Marty 126 | Prizes LD: Tim 192, CTP: Dale ?, LP Dale ? |
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Mukai 2.5
| Rob 59 | Lary 52 | Tim 51 | Dale 51 | Marty 56 | Prizes n/a |
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Lowest 18 of the 27 holes from Mukai 2 and 2.5
| Rob 110 | Lary 99 | Tim 104 | Dale 102 | Marty 110 | Prizes n/a |
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Mukai 3
| Rob 115 | Lary 103 | Tim 108 | Dale 105 | Marty 116 | Prizes LD: Tim 234, CTP: Marty 10.3, LP Tim 42’8″ |
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Low Cumulative Net for All Four Days:
| Rob 107+118+110+115=450 | Handicap: 30×4=120 | Net Cume. Score=330 |
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| Lary 101+99+105+103=408 | Handicap: 25×4=100 | Net Cume. Score=308 |
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| Tim 103+106+104+108=421 | Handicap: 25×4=100 | Net Cume. Score=321 |
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| Dale 103+98+102+105=408 | Handicap: 24×4=96 | Net Cume. Score=312 |
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| Marty 115+113+110+116=454 | Handicap: 32×4=128 | Net Cume. Score=326 |
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And the winner is….Lary, for $60 and overall the best playing of the week. And Rob, sorry, I thought your handicap was 31 in which case you would have beat Marty but alas, you came in last on net (but not gross) score. Golfers, feel free to add your own, but here were some of my personal takeaways from the golf:
*Makai was beautiful; loved the big expansive fairways. The grass was hard for me to adjust to, though.
*I never drove a single par 3 all week!
*The best part of my game by far was my driving and most else was mediocre. Not my usual result.
*Marty’s driving was super! The long drive I hit on Friday, at 234 yds, was a BB, as straight and hard and beautiful as I have ever hit in my life.
Dale F. Johnson
Yo Fellow Golfers –
Hawaii golf was memorably wonderful; worthy of the newly-coined moniker Bandon II. Arriving there, I said to myself: Rob, I want to win a few of those 12 prizes up for grabs, you know, the closest-to-the-pin, longest drive, and longest putt every day. 4 games X 3 prizes per day, 12 prizes available, only 5 golfers, the odds were in my favor that I would win at least a few of ’em. And I didn’t want to take last place in the over-all net scoring after 4.5 games. Amazingly, I did take 5th & last place in the net scoring & I didn’t win a single one of the 12 prizes. I was truly shut-out. When I did hit a particularly long drive on any given day, it was not on the designated long drive hole. When I made a long putt, someone else had already hit one longer. When I hit a memorable drive on a tough par 3 onto the green from 200 yards away, somebody else would skunk me by hitting their ball closest-to-the-pin & closer on a different par 3 hole. So a tough week for our hero vis-a-vis prizes, net scoring, betting, and, most of all, ego.
But I was surrounded by encouraging, terrific friends, who all reminded me 1. that they love me, and 2. that all 4 of ’em really genuinely enjoyed watching me hit my ball over the green, back & forth , three times. Because of these friends, I was glad to be there, and, considering my 30 handicap, I pretty much played to it, with scores on very tough courses of: 107, 110, 115, and 118.
To Dale, Tim, Marty, & Lary, thanks for bein’ there & indulgin’ me when I was muttering under my breath: Dumb-Ass Rob, keep your head down, ya fucked up again, don’t be short on yer putt, etc., etc. – considering my 450 strokes & my close proximity, I know you guys heard my unfortunate (and perhaps truly tragic?) mantra at least 50 times too many.
To my Pals who should have been there: You blew it. It was an epic exotic sojourn to the heart of that which we all need more of – connection & positivity & late-night drunken yakkin’ while we all figure out where we are in life. When Tim (above) uses the euphemism “party favors abounded among a subset of the contingent”, he is talkin’ about Marty, Tim, and I somehow goin’ through $450 worth of excellent blow over a few nights. Plus whisky sours, tom Collins, old-fashioneds, longboards, stellas, various rum drinks. Joints were rolled, cards were played (thanks, Mark!), emotional & existential points were made, all in a rather drunken, yet charming, manner, and we are all richer & better for our week spent together.
Thanks, Your True Pal, Rob.
PS – Say Yes to all opportunities. Especially golf opportunities.
Thanks Rob, I too had a memorable time (well, the parts I remember were memorable). And I will forever enjoy the memory of your Doppler effect demonstration! 🤙🏽
Aloha,
Marty