Trumpeting Glory —Reflections on My Inaugural Championship
Wow. I did so much winning on Super Bowl Sunday I almost got tired of winning. I hit the ball bigly. Nobody hits the ball like I do. It was amazing to see the many thousands of my fans cheering for me in the gallery. Couldn’t believe the media’s fake news stories that there weren’t nearly that many. Sad. Speaking of numbers, I think I set a new record for greatest margin of victory ever in electoral strokes (so named because I elect when to count them). Heard something about a few guys in the field of 17 that actually reported better raw scores, but obviously there must have been rampant fraud.
We’ve had a lot of rain lately, but I have a good brain and I’m convinced that global wetting is a Chinese hoax. As your new leader I’ve been listening to the American golfers and the message that’s resonating is that it’s time to drain the swampy conditions all across this land and make golfing great again.